Life since COVID-19
We have been socially distancing, rather physically distancing for the last month and I am now able to discuss how I am feeling. There are two types of people; some that act right away (whether that be fundraising, encouraging, responding, etc.) when a crisis occurs, and people like me who need to sit with things in order to makes sense of what is going on before acting.
Over the last month, I have felt so many emotions at different times. Before schools and daycares were closed, I was in denial. I believed what I was being told, that the risk of contracting COVID-19 was low, that the virus was no more dangerous than the flu, and that if I did contract it, my symptoms would be mild as I am pretty healthy. Although, I was following what was taking place in China and Europe, I didn’t think we had anything to fear in Canada. We would be safe here.
Fast forward to now, I feel so far from safe here as new cases and the death rate increases daily. The virus is also impacting the young and healthy more than it was in China. I am at home with my family only going out once a day for a walk. I never thought it would come to this, not here.
I have found myself being anxious about our reduced finances, about falling ill or having members of my family be sick. My fears can lead my thoughts to travel to scary places. The Facebook and news stories of families broken apart from the virus haunt me. I am tremendously grateful everyone in my family has so far remained healthy and that we can be together. There are times when I look at my children’s faces and wish time could stand still or that we could permanently hug, safe in each other’s arms.
Other times I feel trapped at home, needing some physical space and a mental break from my family. Being with them ALL THE TIME is adding up! I have always been appreciative of my village of people who contribute to raising my children (i.e. daycare providers, family, and friends). Their absence is deeply felt.
On any given day I can feel grateful, hopeful, exhausted, anxious, tired, trapped, and over being confined. My daily walks have helped me to stay grounded through all of this. I can read the news and feel completely overwhelmed by the state of the world. When I step outside, life feels like it was pre-COVID-19, just quieter. I still come across people doing normal things like walking their dogs, biking or going for a stroll. I am hopeful because I know life will go back to something less confining when it is safe to do so.
This week, I am starting a new routine based on the reality that we will continue physical distancing for more weeks to months. I am trying to carve out alone time for myself and I am embracing the idea of social events using the internet. I plan on trying some online fitness classes from Allure Fitness to try something new and get my body moving in a different way.
I also decided to move QueensConnected’s upcoming workshop online (More Pleasure, More Confidence, and More Power on April 25th from 4 to 6pm). I could use some fun conversations about sexual empowerment with other women. Luna Matatas, the webinar facilitator, is an experienced sexual educator who will help us explore our desires and help us communicate our wants in and out of the bedroom. The webinar is open to all women and pay what you can tickets are available if needed. This is a financially difficult time for many of us, I do not want finances to hold anyone back from participating.
What are you doing these days to survive these times?