New Year, New Beginnings — My Big Chop Story
I got my first chemical relaxer at 12. I wanted my hair to be straight, flowing in the air like the women I saw on TV, billboards, and magazines—even though that wasn’t its natural state.
For the next 16 years, I kept relaxing my hair. Now that the health impacts of relaxers are openly discussed, I sometimes wonder whether those years contributed to my fibroids, which eventually led to surgery. But I digress…
2010 in the Commonwealth of Dominica
It was after graduating from nursing school that I began recognizing racism—and my own internalized racism. As a new nurse, I worked alongside other Black and racialized grads. We laughed and shared stories about our families’ quirks, often realizing how much we had learned to code switch or hide parts of ourselves.
My Master’s program took me even deeper. A course called Race as a Structural Determinant of Health validated my experiences and challenged my beliefs. I followed it with a seminar on social inequities in health—a course that still stays with me. It pushed me to confront how much of my identity had been tied to chemically straightened hair.
By graduation, I was ready for change. After years of damage from relaxers and hot curling irons, I began cutting my hair shorter and shorter until I finally did the “big chop.” I felt free, beautiful, and grounded. I loved the ease of wash‑and‑go styles and eventually embraced fades with my barber. Despite the naysayers—even within my family—I felt self‑assured.
2012 - A year after my ‘Big Chop’
That is what learning history and unpacking anti‑Black racism gave me: a confidence continues to grow. My last relaxer was in 2011, and I’ve never looked back. For over five years, I kept my hair short, loving the freedom it gave me. Then, inspired by my sister’s sisterlocks, I began a a new journey in 2017. I proved the lie that Black hair doesn’t grow long by surpassing the length goals I keep setting. Who knew my hair would grow longer than I ever imagined once I let go of the relaxer and embraced its natural state?
Unpacking internalized anti‑Blackness is an ongoing journey—one that has helped me take up more space in a world where I once thought I needed to shrink. Black women are beautiful, and I continue to learn to love myself more deeply every day.
This new year, instead of making resolutions to “fix” ourselves, let’s commit to unlearning the lies that tell us we were not worthy. Let’s resolve to become our most authentic, beautiful selves and show up unapologetically. That’s the only resolution I’m making.
In 2026, QueensConnected will be offering multiple opportunities to celebrate, learn, unlearn, and heal together:
Interview Best Practices for Black & Racialized Employees (Virtual Webinar) January 14, 5:30–6:30pm. Learn five interview best practices drawn from my years of experience on hiring panels.
Ladies Dance & Lounge January 24, 8:00–11:30pm at Hummingbird Hall. Celebrate QueensConnected’s one‑year relaunch anniversary with DJ Ric Manuel spinning old‑school hip hop, R&B, dancehall, reggae, and more.
Canadian Black Herstory Session (Virtual) February 28, 1:00–3:30pm. Deepen your understanding of how anti‑Black racism became embedded in Canadian society, explore how Black women and communities resisted, and celebrate Black women’s past and present contributions.
Microaggressions & Wellness: Half‑Day Sessions for Black and Racialized Women (In Person) Date to be announced. A dedicated space for Black and racialized women who regularly navigate microaggressions.
👉 Learn more and add your name to the waitlists for early access and early‑bird pricing.
Let’s make this a year of celebration, growth, and expanding our legacies.