Reclaiming My Womanhood
Motherhood is often spoken about in relation to babies and young children, but parenting adolescents and young adults brings its own unique joys, griefs, identity shifts, and growing pains. This heartfelt and humorous reflection from a QueensConnected community member speaks honestly to the complexity of mothering older children while also rediscovering yourself along the way.
Parenting is a difficult and often thankless job especially when you are in the mist of it with adolescents and young adults. They are at the age where they know everything and you are a dinosaur they wish was extinct. Your purpose in their lives is to annoy, frustrate and embarrass them with your choice in clothing and music and not to mention that your mere existence is problematic.
To be a mother is to occasionally or even frequently ask yourself several questions. What did I do to deserve this? Where did I go wrong? Why did I have children? Where did these creatures come from? Where is the sweet child I gave birth to? Is this child possessed? Can I really take them out of this world like Cliff said?
As a mother, you cease to be a human being with dreams, desires, and a life before them. Your name morphs into "MomcanIhave". This new name has different surnames like 'the car', 'money', 'shoes', 'clothes', and 'UberEATS'. Each request takes a piece of your patience maybe even your soul.
Don't get me wrong, you love them and would die and kill for them, but sometimes you wish they would remember how they got here. After all, you are a sexual being. You were once viewed, and are still viewed, as a hot, beautiful and sexy lady by the opposite sex. You used to get on bad in a dancehall or fete. You are more than their chef, nurse, chauffer, detective, ATM and maid.
You are a queen. You are a goddess. A boss. You are intelligent. You are funny. You are sexy. You are alive and want more out of life than just to be their mother.
As a 50ish woman, I want to reclaim my government name, get my groove back, hit the dance floor, shake what my mama gave me and live my best life.
Having said all of this, I hang my head low recognizing that I was also an ungrateful teen. I want to publicly apologize to my own mother, Margaret, for not realizing the extent of all that she did to raise me right, to set me on the correct path and to provide me with a strong foundation.
I hope that despite the trials and tribulations of parenting that we, as grown children, take time to give grace to the next generation and show love and gratitude to the previous one.
I am a queen because I was raised by a queen.
May the QUEENDOM live on.